Serious question. If you're a MAGA Republican, do you root for the Russians in Red Dawn? What about in Hunt for Red October? Do you root for Captain Ramius to be captured before he can defect? In the Americans, do you root AGAINST Stan and FOR Philip and Elizabeth. 1/🧵

What about when you're reading history books? When you get to the part where the Soviet Union takes over half of Europe after World War II, are you like YEAHHH! Do you root for the Soviet tanks when they're crushing the Hungarian revolution in 1956? 2/

When the Berlin Wall goes up in 1961, do you get super psyched? Do you get super sad when it comes down in 1989? What about when the Soviet Union collapses in 1991? Do you experience normal run-of-the mill sadness or does it break your heart? 3/

I have so many questions. What do you think about the Bay of Pigs? What about Fidel Castro? You clearly think he was a good leader but HOW good? What about the Cuban Missile Crisis? You must have been pretty upset that JFK forced the Soviets to pull its missiles out of Cuba. 4/

I'm not going to even ask you about the Miracle on Ice. I know how touchy of a subject that is with you... I mean, I could go on and on and on with this. And yah, clearly this is all a joke. But really, it's not funny. What the hell, ya'll. You are AMERICAN. ACT LIKE IT. 5/5