I have heard stories of women going to Kilimani and Pooping and Urinating on Carpets, this is exactly what happens A Long Thread

So yesterday I boarded a matatu to Kilimani, I was called by one of my Long time friends. We had not irrigated our throats for a very long time and that was a big chance to catch up. I got to Geco Cafe.

To my surprise, my Friend has bought a new Mercedes GLE. Don't get me wrong but this is the same person who was struggling when my dreams looked like they had taken off I asked myself.

I was like Bruv , I am done with this journalism thing, I work for more than one media company, including NGOs plus influencing but I can barely make ends meet in Nairobi hata Rent huwa issues sometimes, show me what to do to make money in the city?

He looked at me and laughed saying “Ni wewe hutaki pesa” Bru what do you mean I do not want money? I remember the most money I ever made was 100K by playing aviator on Betnare. I remember that day I had deposited 20 bob on @BETNAREke . After registering via

I asked him “Bruv please I am ready to listen how you make the money” so he told me he is a ritualist pimp. I was lost, what does ritualist pimp even mean? I asked myself. He told me the business had seen his boss gift him a new Bentley that rolled in an accident and now

So this is basically what happens he took a long deep breath as he began explaining: in everything you do in life you need to be lucky, Luck plays a good percentage in any human life, from that job you have, you have it because you were lucky enough so the same analogy applies to

At this point the Shinyalu based Journalist was keen to listen to every detail just to make sure nothing escapes my ears, I was envious of his success not in a bad way but the envy where you want also grow like him and willing to learn from him, so I had ordered for my lamb chops

Then continued to break it down to me vile kutoka kwa block ni rahisi. I was like Bruv I want details Bruv hizi unanipea ni stories niambie bila kunificha how do you do it, nipee formula, he was like Bruv all you need is to go to high end clubs and spot women and men spending.

I was quick to interject nikamshow vile madem na Club za Nairobi zinaweza kula pesa ya mtu mbio, that is the easiest way kurudi shinyalu. He was calm while I was busy mumbling, then he told me skiza, all you have to do is spot a table where men are overspending and drinking

What for I asked, he was like, if a man blows 100k on alcohol like Mbiti Mwondi in a night it means this man is doing well which means they are lucky and that luck is what we are looking for he said.

At this point I was all lost, you mean you are looking for men’s luck in clubs by looking at how they spend money. This was a new knob for me, a village boy who came to Nairobi by Bus.

All you have to do is target the women that are close to these flashy men, approach them, make sure you do what it takes to take them home with you, lazima skills zako za kuchipo wasichana zikuwe top knotch. A skill that I am poor at unlike my Friend Mkenya Mzii mwenye huchipo

So after getting the woman agree to go with you home, I usually call my Nigerian Bosses who pick them from there. So these Nigerians do Scamming as full time jobs they pay 500K for every woman you bring and add 200K once after Urinating or pooping in carpets the spirits accept

For them to be sucessful in their scaming business, they need luck which they steal it from women who have slept with men that are doing well in life hence overspending in clubs. Once your girl is taken to those rooms wakunie na kukojoa kwa carpet, they are able to ritually take

No wonder utapata kijana alikuwa poa akalala na a random woman then maisha yake inaanza kwenda segemnege, ukifuatilia vizuri huyo msichana alienda kukojoa kwa Carpet Kilimani for some few coins. The Urine ikatumiwa kwa rituals.

I was left in an AWE! This is what you guys do in this town... WEEEEUH!